Friday, November 23, 2007

Expectations out the window...

From the previous post "Preconceived beliefs about people..."

"I believe that one of the greatest problems with communication is that we each come into certain relationships with particular expectations and preconceived beliefs. I find that usually these expectations and preconceived beliefs about people are not shared or left at the door."

The biggest difference between my previous post and this one is that Preconceived Beliefs are put upon people who we do not know, and Expectations are put upon people we do.

Here are my thoughts on the latter:
I believe that so many times we feel that our friends in life let us down. We think that they know exactly what we are going through and they will just know to call or write, and well they don't know because we have not told them. ( I don't know about you but I have not learned to read minds yet.) Our friends are friends because they have been with us along our journey of life and faith and they probably really do care, they just need to know what is going. We cannot expect people to read minds or call when we are feeling bad, they might, but it won't happen every time.

I think the best thing is to just make time to talk, not just about the weather or the last game, but about real life. Talk about struggles, joys, and everything in between. If we do this our expectations will change because we will know our friends better and they will know each other better, and through this we will learn how each other work.

What if the reason you feel you have bad friends is because you don't let them know what you need?

What if the person you have put expectations on is God?
What if the reason God has disappointed you is because of your expectations and not because of Him?

Preconceived beliefs about people...

I believe that one of the greatest problems with communication is that we each come into certain relationships with particular expectations and preconceived beliefs. I find that usually these expectations and preconceived beliefs about people are not shared or left at the door.

First let us tackle the preconceived beliefs about people:
I know, personally, that due to my background and experiences that there are certain quick judgements that I make all the time about people I don't even know. I have also found that the quick judgements, right or wrong, make me approach new relationships with certain biases; and it is these biases that can hinder me from truly getting to know the individual person.
I really struggle with this because I truly believe that God has created each of us for a unique purpose and not only that no any two people have the same relationships and experiences. So why can't I, one who really believes this (I think), throw out all these biases?
Maybe because there is not one moment in life where you and I are not bombarded by different judgements and prejudices. I have found that the only way to attempt to avoid this problem is by knowing that we are doing it and make intentional steps to move beyond it. This could be done by make intentional point to get to know someone, everyone better, from the INSIDE OUT. By intentionally getting to know everyone better, we will find it easier to move beyond these biases.

Next to come, Expectations out the window...

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The Next 500 years...

Last weekend I was at the National Youth Workers Convention in Atlanta, GA. There were 5,500 youth ministers, and amazing speakers, bands, worship leaders, and so much more.

My title to this post refers to one of the main speakers of the weekend: Phillis Tickle. This older lady, her words not mine, came and gave a history lesson on the Church. She explained in many more words than this that every 500 years, the Church has had to undergo a huge "shift." One example was the Protestant reformation, an important part of Church history (kinda).

Anyway, she talked about all the examples at length and then she shared that we are now starting to go through a NEW shift. She explained that each of the divisions of the Church were now starting to talk, at "water coolers" or in my generation coffee shops, and share about beliefs and church practices and lifes answers and question, and even starting to come closer together.

Her ploy to us was that within this new shift of the Church, "we" the collective of church leaders, are setting the course of the Church for the next 500 years; whatever that might be. But she warned not to get so excited about this new change that we forget about where we have come from, our history and our traditions.

It made me think about what we; maybe just me; do as youth ministers. We typically will forget about traditions and history, in order to be "relevant." The problem is that when we forget where we came from, we can stray so far from the goal and purpose of the Church that we lose all credibility.

I think that struggle within all this is

I believe, maybe, that in embracing where we are and have been that we might find where we should go. . .

Where will we end up? What will this great shift be?
I don't know, but I am so excited about being a part of it!

Monday, November 19, 2007


Well, it has been forever since my last post.

I think that most of the reason is that I have had trouble putting into words my thoughts and what God was teaching me. Well, I still am but I at least have an idea of the topics to come:
Youth Ministry 3.o
This Next Year
Expectations out the window
The Next 500 Years

well, my head hurts from everything said at National Youth Ministry Convention in Atl. So I need to take a breather and I will be back (sooner then later) with thoughts, struggles, youth ministry etc...

May God bless you with LOVE, HOPE, DREAMS, PEACE, and great friendships