Expectations out the window...

From the previous post "Preconceived beliefs about people..."

"I believe that one of the greatest problems with communication is that we each come into certain relationships with particular expectations and preconceived beliefs. I find that usually these expectations and preconceived beliefs about people are not shared or left at the door."


The biggest difference between my previous post and this one is that Preconceived Beliefs are put upon people who we do not know, and Expectations are put upon people we do.


Here are my thoughts on the latter:
I believe that so many times we feel that our friends in life let us down. We think that they know exactly what we are going through and they will just know to call or write, and well they don't know because we have not told them. ( I don't know about you but I have not learned to read minds yet.) Our friends are friends because they have been with us along our journey of life and faith and they probably really do care, they just need to know what is going. We cannot expect people to read minds or call when we are feeling bad, they might, but it won't happen every time.

I think the best thing is to just make time to talk, not just about the weather or the last game, but about real life. Talk about struggles, joys, and everything in between. If we do this our expectations will change because we will know our friends better and they will know each other better, and through this we will learn how each other work.

What if the reason you feel you have bad friends is because you don't let them know what you need?

What if the person you have put expectations on is God?
What if the reason God has disappointed you is because of your expectations and not because of Him?

Preconceived beliefs about people...

I believe that one of the greatest problems with communication is that we each come into certain relationships with particular expectations and preconceived beliefs. I find that usually these expectations and preconceived beliefs about people are not shared or left at the door.

First let us tackle the preconceived beliefs about people:
I know, personally, that due to my background and experiences that there are certain quick judgements that I make all the time about people I don't even know. I have also found that the quick judgements, right or wrong, make me approach new relationships with certain biases; and it is these biases that can hinder me from truly getting to know the individual person.
I really struggle with this because I truly believe that God has created each of us for a unique purpose and not only that no any two people have the same relationships and experiences. So why can't I, one who really believes this (I think), throw out all these biases?
Maybe because there is not one moment in life where you and I are not bombarded by different judgements and prejudices. I have found that the only way to attempt to avoid this problem is by knowing that we are doing it and make intentional steps to move beyond it. This could be done by make intentional point to get to know someone, everyone better, from the INSIDE OUT. By intentionally getting to know everyone better, we will find it easier to move beyond these biases.

Next to come, Expectations out the window...

The Next 500 years...

Last weekend I was at the National Youth Workers Convention in Atlanta, GA. There were 5,500 youth ministers, and amazing speakers, bands, worship leaders, and so much more.

My title to this post refers to one of the main speakers of the weekend: Phillis Tickle. This older lady, her words not mine, came and gave a history lesson on the Church. She explained in many more words than this that every 500 years, the Church has had to undergo a huge "shift." One example was the Protestant reformation, an important part of Church history (kinda).

Anyway, she talked about all the examples at length and then she shared that we are now starting to go through a NEW shift. She explained that each of the divisions of the Church were now starting to talk, at "water coolers" or in my generation coffee shops, and share about beliefs and church practices and lifes answers and question, and even starting to come closer together.

Her ploy to us was that within this new shift of the Church, "we" the collective of church leaders, are setting the course of the Church for the next 500 years; whatever that might be. But she warned not to get so excited about this new change that we forget about where we have come from, our history and our traditions.

It made me think about what we; maybe just me; do as youth ministers. We typically will forget about traditions and history, in order to be "relevant." The problem is that when we forget where we came from, we can stray so far from the goal and purpose of the Church that we lose all credibility.

I think that struggle within all this is
HOW CAN WE HOLD ON AND EMBRACE TRADITION AND HISTORY, WITHOUT BEING HELD BACK BY IT?

I believe, maybe, that in embracing where we are and have been that we might find where we should go. . .

Where will we end up? What will this great shift be?
I don't know, but I am so excited about being a part of it!

Sorry....

Well, it has been forever since my last post.

I think that most of the reason is that I have had trouble putting into words my thoughts and what God was teaching me. Well, I still am but I at least have an idea of the topics to come:
WHO AM I?
Youth Ministry 3.o
This Next Year
Expectations out the window
The Next 500 Years


well, my head hurts from everything said at National Youth Ministry Convention in Atl. So I need to take a breather and I will be back (sooner then later) with thoughts, struggles, youth ministry etc...

May God bless you with LOVE, HOPE, DREAMS, PEACE, and great friendships

what you practice IS what you preach

There is a thought that I have been struggling with, and a commercial was on right when I was thinking about it that went with it,

This commercial has kids saying,
“Don’t tell us that unless you really mean it.
Because it is way too important.”
-www.Dividedwefail.org

This political commercial I believe is what the church needs to hear. Not go out there and vote for a certain politician, but don’t just say something, show me. This sort of goes back to “practice what you preach,” I would even like to change it a bit:
“What you practice IS what you preach.”

Imagine if we lived by this thought…
Maybe people would have food who don’t have food,
Maybe people would have clothes that don’t have clothes,
Maybe people would have something to drink,
Maybe people would not be left alone,

Here is what Jesus said about it:
Matthew 25:31-46 (The Message)
The Sheep and the Goats
"When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why: I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.'
"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'
"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because— I was hungry and you gave me no meal, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was homeless and you gave me no bed, I was shivering and you gave me no clothes, Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'
"Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'
"He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'
"Then those 'goats' will be herded to their eternal doom, but the 'sheep' to their eternal reward."


It seems to me that God could care less what we know, but maybe God is concerned about our Faith and what we do about it.

James 1:19-26 (New International Version)
Listening and Doing
19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.
26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

James 2:14-26 (New International Version)
Faith and Deeds
14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
18But someone will say, "You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.
19You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
20You foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? 21Was not our ancestor Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. 24You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.
25In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? 26As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

I don't know exactly what this means for each person, and there certainly is no 10 or 15 step method to it, but I believe that as I seek God through scripture, song, creation, and others; He will teach me.

So if "What you practice IS what you preach" then what is your life preaching about Christ?

Prayer

If we see prayer as a way of accomplishing things,
then what happens when they go unanswered?

What if we saw prayer as a way of admitting, “I know I can’t do anything, but I know God does?”

What if prayer became a way of God using us, not us trying to use God?

What if we prayed for guidance?What if we prayed to hear from God?

What if we prayed to get to know God better?

How does prayer fit within the Christian life?

Does it?


Joanna, my fiance, wrote something about praying in color
Check it out:
http://part-of-something.blogspot.com/2007/09/praying-in-color.html

Just Words...

Do we really realize how much words say about us?

They probably do almost as much as our actions.

What about the words we use as Christians?
Do the words we use in church hinder people from understand God?

Think of some of these words that we probably take for granted:
Testify
Testimony
Salvation
Redemption
Revival
Holy Spirit
Faith
Jesus
God

So if these can hinder, what words could we use?
Hope
Love
Freedom
Peace
Change
Journey
Beliefs

What if the words we used in church and as Christians helped people
feel love, hope and peace?

What if people wanted to know God because we stopped
using words that make them feel smaller and starting using words that inspire?

What words do you use daily that may be hindering others
from coming to know freedom, hope, love, peace, change, and ultimately God?